As per usual, Avie demonstrates compassion and understanding.

As per usual, Avie demonstrates compassion and understanding. If you are wondering how to improve the community you find yourself in, this is a great place to start.

Originally shared by Avonelle Wing (Avie)

Since I'm not seeing answers else-thread, here's my answer:

What I personally do to support people who are frequently silenced or marginalized:

I take personal responsibility for my impact on any community I interact with.
The higher profile I am, the more caution I exercise.
If I am displeased with how somebody is handling a situation, I weigh a variety of factors:
How likely am I to have a realistic understanding of the situation?
How strong a response is warranted?
Am I likely to cause any change by being angry/aggressive/assertive?
If I speak up, will others dogpile? if so, what is gained by that?
What is the most compassionate method to resolve the situation without causing collateral damage to innocents who don't deserve to be splashed with ichor?
How will those around me respond to my various options? Which option inflicts the least damage and resolves the situation the most responsibly?

When no greater good is gained by venting my spleen, I alter my course of action and chose a path of engagement rather than antagonism. When I have the option to be a jerk and to respond with heat and emotion, I exchange that response for radical compassion, empathy and engagement. If I'm emotionally compromised*, I refrain from responding.

In online conversations, I maintain a minimum standard of civil discourse.
If a participant engages in inappropriate attacks or vulgarities designed to inflame a situation, I shut them down. If I have to ban, I do. If I have to leave because the space isn't curated, I do.

If somebody is engaging in my online space in a bad-faith way, I remove them from that space. If they dislike me because of it, that's on them.

I educate myself. when somebody uses a silencing technique, I go research it and explain what it it, why it works and why it's toxic, to the best of my ability. NOBODY ever responds well to that one, btw. It's always "that's not what I'm doing".

If somebody calls me out on getting something wrong, I apologize as soon as I'm humanly able to; sometimes I'm having emotions that make it hard to respond gracefully and it takes me a cool-down period to respond.

I invite people who express that they feel like outsiders to the table.

If appropriate, I make space for them.

I try to distribute spotlight time and to engage wholeheartedly in the emotional labor of amplifying voices coming from disadvantaged intersections.

I try not to allow social pressures to sway me to return conversational real estate to the folks who traditionally hold the majority of it - I'm aware of my own reactions and patterns and work to counter the deeply ingrained patterns I know exist in my head.

*I've spent a LOT of time figuring out what it means to be emotionally compromised. I expect other people who experience the benefits of being high-profile to do the same. because the more visible you are, the more important it is to understand your own motives in posting and responding to stimuli.

How about you? What are you doing to make sure that the people who feel like they should just give up and get out of the clubhouse, because they were never welcome here anyway know that they're valued?