Tuesday, February 27, 2018

OK, friends!

OK, friends!

Tony Lower-Basch has made me an offer I am not going to refuse: If I do not hit 210 pounds or below on or before the first day of Camp Nerdly, he will not go see the new Avengers movie until it is on Netflix. Furthermore, if I hit the goal before hand, he will be released to go see it as early as he chooses.

Would anyone else like to participate as Tony is doing and act as an incentive mechanism for my good behavior? Double up the potential lack of fun to create more of an incentive?
Gosh, coming back to work fires is not fun.

Monday, February 26, 2018

I typically gain weight during the winter, which is why I last posted to this collection 23 weeks ago.

I typically gain weight during the winter, which is why I last posted to this collection 23 weeks ago. That's 5 months, which makes since.

I'm at ~220 pounds as of this morning -- and I lost weight during Dreamation, somehow. I didn't drink, which may explain it. Two ginger ales a night has a lot of calories, but nothing compared to four beers. Or six moscow mules.

Anyway. It is Feb 26. Camp Nerdly is May 18. Not quite 3 months. About 12 weeks.

So ... I'll be at 210 before then. Ten pounds, twelve weeks.

Or else, what?

I'm not sure, honestly. Typically I create an incentive mechanism such that a bad organization will get my money if I fuck up. But, the stakes have been raised in the last year and I just can't.

I am open to suggestions.

ok, this is going to be a big post. I swear it'll get to gaming. Or at least cons.

ok, this is going to be a big post. I swear it'll get to gaming. Or at least cons.

Growing up, I was more or less raised baptist. Sunday services -- morning and night -- Wedneseday youth group. Singing. (By the way, the reason I have never attempted to learn to sing is our musical minister said i have a "pitch problem", and then I never tried to learn because brain weasels.) Choir, all that shit. We weren't just members, we were active members. My mom became a deacon, my dad quietly stopped going because church is bullshit.

And, in the summer, camp. Both weekend and weeklong camps. There was a lot of variety in quality of lodging, going from 4 to a room to upwards of 20. Never private. There's no privacy at these things. At one camp, you showered together. In a bathing suit. And turn around from each other when you wash up and check for ticks, and don't take too long that's gross. [ Also, wow. I ddn't realize until writing that how mired in homophobia that policy was. I'm sorry. ]

A lot of time spent under the supervision of the religious, doing religious things. Everything from praying in the woods to singing about King David's problems with tax collectors (named: I rip off, *R*ake it in, and uncle *S*am. A joke I did not get, but when my father heard it he contemplated a lawsuit, and told the IRS that the church was talking about fucking politics from the pulpit. I'm glad he set that example.).

Anyway. I'd come back from these things filled with zeal, and alternatively angry and sad for no reason -- or for all too good a reason. The excuse given is something like "separation from god", with the claim being that at these things one is closer to the The Great I Am than in normal life. And so, as you get back to normal life you feel that loss as pain and anger.

In short, I was dealing with con crash, didn't know it, and did not have the emotional tools or community support to deal with it.

Sometime in my teenage years, I pick up RPGs. A lot of whitewolf stuff. I remember an Aberrant campaign, where I had imposter syndrome and brain weasels and didn't know how to tell my friends-players. They were all a bit older and more into gaming than I was, and I felt like I brought nothing to the table. And I didn't know how to talk about it.

Again, dealing with things without knowing how. Because teenagers are ill-equiped to deal with the range of behaviors they need to. _[ And what hammered home that point? Monster hearts ] _

Mage is, probably, why I became a philosophy major. Why I double majored in math. Why I went to grad school at Carnegie. Why I met Dianne, and live in DC. Why I have a career where my boss is impressed that I ask questions like "what is the good life?"

Through undergrad and grad school, I play RPGs. Undergrad I had a group, and we played some weird stuff and I heard shitty things about this online place called The Forge -- apparently filled with toxic assholes who don't know anything about gaming. [ I wish I had joined you all there, right then. Oh well. ]

Fast forward a few years. (you're welcome), I'm set up in DC. By this time, my wife and I are running a board game meetup group that, as of now, has 1,600 members. I'm tired of RPGs. We'd done a nearly four year long campaign of D&D fourth edition that ruined friendships and soured Dianne on RPGs forever more.

We go to a wedding. At the after party, someone pulls out Fiasco and is like "Wlliam, I hear you used to love RPGs but combat got you down. Wanna try this?", and YOU GUYS. It was an epiphany. The first of many.

The great Ted Cabeen (who I only ever met the once) facilitated that, and recommended that if I liked it I should go to Nerdly. I was all "I don't go to cons." I'd heard bad things about gen con, and didn't want to relive the experiences of my adolescences. Besides, don't only weirdos go to cons?

Ted convinced me -- and Dianne -- to try it out. We Went to Nerdly that year, met Jason, Sean, Patti, Adam Dray, David Berg, Tim, Melissa, and so many others. Rachael Story, who introduces me to the local scene. To people who have become some of my best friends.

Many of these folks I now see a few times a year, and adore. People who, just this weekend, were asking how that work problem I was having a year ago turned out. They remembered, and cared about me, and wanted to know!

[ It turned out better than I hoped for. This is not that post. ]

My first Nerdly was another Epiphany. So was my first larp -- the Tribunal, at Nerdly, at midnight, and I was mouse. I am pretty sure I had a panic attack all night. It was the best and worst thing ever. ]_

A few months ago, Sarah Lynne Bowman ran an Epiphany retreat/larp. I went as a mentor for the Cult of Ecstasy, because it is the moments that matter to me. And because I am moving into a mentorship / leadership role in work and life, and need a safe space to help guide me with that. What matters to me in my games, and most of my relationships, is the moments that transcend -- the ones that seem to go on forever, yet to last only an instant.

In short, the moments that, twenty years ago, I would have described as spiritual. As moments with god. What I didn't know that, and do know now, is I find those just as easily in non-religious circumstances.

I met wonderful people at Epiphany (omg, everyone), and the unexpected happened: I noticed myself get the fuck over hero worship. I'd been getting better, but Epiphany really hammered home that there are loads of fantastic gamers who I don't even know, and that the ones who have become semi-famous in our tiny community ... are just people. Sometimes people with greater skills in specific areas, and I want to continue to support them to build the games I want because I love great games ... but, at some point, I've started thinking of them as people rather than as objects who make games. Does that make sense? I hope it does.

Which, btw? Hero Worship is totally a thing from my adolescents. We'd have these speakers on stages, literally above everyone else, talking about their experiences. We'd go on missions to help/preach at people, and expect them to see us the same way. It's a whole toxic cultural of hierarchy, and I'm glad to be almost entirely over it.

Awakening: It's not a single moment. It's a series of moments. Cons are essentially a pressure cooker to force moments of insight and awareness. Or at least, they can be: Personally, I doubt a dozen sessions of Pathfinder is going to raise anyone's insight, but The Tribunal, Pirate's Life, or literally anything from #feminism are designed to do that.

And gosh you guys, am I glad to be a part of it. Thank you for having me, and for reading this somewhat lengthy and meandering post. I am so grateful to have found and become a part of this community.

Dreamation recap: Games

Dreamation recap: Games

Thursday: Blue Collar: a game about stillness, integrity & masculinity. There's something really powerful here. I think the game needs a bit of a rework to emphasize it, but there's most definitely something here.

Friday: Chariots. Our facilitator didn't show due to a medical issue, so we created a larp about two space ships with different cultures meeting and then played it. For an instant designed larp, it worked. At one point, I looked around the table and was like "we need one person to facilitate us doing this. Jay Treat? You're it."

After the play through, we had ideas for what could have made it stronger. Still, not a bad way to spend a couple hours.

-- A perfectly normal dinner party. A hilarious larp about a perfectly normal dinner party at a perfectly normal human suburban house. This was the first-ever play, and I don't want to ruin it. Suffice it to say, it is a larp with secrets and win conditions, and it worked.

Friday, 2 pm: Bulldogs larp: I am pretty sure I am not the target demo for this larp, unfortunately. There's some cool shit here, but I think I would have had more fun on the other side of the table (ie, as an NPC or whatever).

Friday, 8 pm: Tribunal. I helped Eli Eaton run The Tribunal. We did this differently than I am used to, and it worked out. In this version:
-- Every few minutes, we'd call out one of them and ask questions. Sometimes nicely, sometimes with the lights off and a camera flashlight in their face. We offered deals for the "truth", and were generally evil fuckbags.
-- After a character went back to the group faking a limp after discussion with us, the characters stopped trusting us. To be clear: the players trusted the facilitators, but the characters did not trust the officers. Which, frankly? Good. But...
-- But, I want this game to emphasize how we oppress each other. That oppressive regimes rely on the oppressed to do most of the work.
-- Still, having one of the privates absolutely refuse to let me take a character out? That was fantastic, and I was entirely unsure what to do. The oppressed were joining together.
-- So, Eli had me remove the characters that were the glue. And let them fall apart.
-- Oh my gosh. The last two people were Mouse and Hawk. I was in charge of pulling people out, and intentionally left them together for a few minutes. I wasn't sure how this was going to go. Mouse stood up to Hawk! omg.
-- Poor mouse. Still, if anyone can handle it, it's Shawn Roske. As is good custom, when mouse joined everyone else in debrief, there was a round of applause.

Saturday: 9 am: Slept in a bit. Wound up in a playtest of a quasi-board game storytelling game about the creation of myths and epics. Most of the revisions we suggested have to do with presentation, not so much with gameplay. Granted, if you want good story gamers, we had two of the best: George Austin and Michael Miller., and the author of the dang game. That's a dream group.

Saturday: Night Witches at 2 o'clock. I ran one of four tables under Jason's overarching administration. I was a little late and everything seemed a little rushed, but:
-- Several of my PC's died. A couple from enemy action, two from suicide.
-- Polya (always my favorite) was flying, and needed to take harm. She had the option of how to divide up the five harm between herself and her navigator. Four harm is death. I gave the option to take no harm herself, and give it all to her navigator -- and to always know that her actions had intentionally caused the death of a soviet air woman.

She did that, of course. Her other consequence was to take a mark. The mark was to accept her destiny and death. We all ignored rolls after that to make sure Polya got back to base, where she received the Order of the Soviet Union. The most best medal a soviet air woman can receive.

After, she wandered alone to the forest and shot herself. She was found by her friend and maybe lover, who got help to bury her, was countermanded in doing so by a higher ranking official, took a mark, then walked off a cliff.

Both were later found by their CO, who requisitioned more people. This war ain't gonna win itself.

Saturday, 8 PM: A Pirate's Life. This is Jay Treat's larp about family and piracy. I've played this game at least twice, maybe three times, over the years. This run worked amazingly well. Jay's gotten rid of the parts that make the game super silly, and after a discussion on tone at the midpoint, the second half was serious. I liked the differentiation there, and it may be good to aim at. We all had a good cry. Not, like, a big ole blubbery the world is ending cry, just a standard I've got some tears in my face cry.

Sunday
-- omg, slept until ten meant to go to a ten o'clock game. I'm so sorry.

-- Larp sampler. Played "Now we're roomates", a game about figuring out a roomate contract between aliens and humans. Golden Cobra winner, possibly never before played. I feel like this game almost worked, and was a ridiculously neat premise.

Some of these games were pretty intense. I've taken the day off work, and am available to discuss and process for anyone who needs it / for myself.

I may post here more, as I remember stuff.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you, everyone.

I'm taking tomorrow off, and will be available to process.

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

How I approach people I know on the internet at conventions:

How I approach people I know on the internet at conventions:
-- Walk up slowly. See if they show signs of recognizing me.

-- If not or if I'm unsure, say something like "Hi, I'm William from the internet. We talk about . "

Sometimes, this goes immediately to a hug. Usually not. In a couple of instances, this has turned into an immediate pickup game. That was great.

My general assumption is that I blend into crowds. I'm not extremely tall, fat, skinny, or short. I walk on both legs, wear glasses, have no tattoos and wear boring clothes. I don't sell anything or publish anything. My face is largely symmetrical, and devoid of obvious markers.

[ On the clothes: it's like a uniform. I wear essentially the same clothes every day. Do it once and forget it.]

Which is to say: I totally get it if we meet and you don't know who the fuck I am.

There is a chance I won't know who you are, either. The above is a pretty reasonable way of introducing yourself to me. Please take no offense by it -- we'll all be overloaded.

And if you see me before I've had coffee? I won't be an actual human being. I'll be a zombie in search of brains coffee.

What a strange incentive system: punishing behavior (in this case, renting hotel rooms) that you want to see.

What a strange incentive system: punishing behavior (in this case, renting hotel rooms) that you want to see.

Weird.

Originally shared by Double Exposure, Inc.

DREAMATION Hotel Parking Update:
Folks,

The policy for parking at the hotel has changed.
If you are staying as a guest at the hotel, there is a $10/night parking feed.

If you are not staying at the hotel (ie: your name is not on a hotel room), the front desk will continue to validate your parking for free, as they have always done.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Neat, ResistBot will now tell you about how much the NRA has bought your congress people:

Neat, ResistBot will now tell you about how much the NRA has bought your congress people:
https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?hashtags=Resistbot&text=Text%20NRA%20to%2050409%20to%20find%20out%20how%20much%20money%20the%20NRA%20has%20spent%20on%20your%20elected%20officials.

For me: Zero. And over a million combined against.

Dreamation - I think I have overscheduled myself.

Dreamation - I think I have overscheduled myself.

Here's what I did: went through the list, wrote down codes for anything that sounded ideal. Sent that over to Vinnie.

In years past, this has meant a lot more conflicts than I got this year. I don't have a single empty slot. And here I thought I'd spend time with games on demand. Maybe I'll cancel one or two of these so I can visit GoD.

Thursday 8PM: L001, Blue Collar -- a game about masculinity, stillness, and integrity by and with Shawn Roske

Friday 9AM: R227, Apocalypse World (Hack); "The Perfect Meal" -- a game about hobbits looking for ingredients for the best meal. Presented by Christoffer Hoeck.

Friday 2PM: L020: Bulldogs, a game about the underbelly of a space station by Brennan Taylor, who I just emailed to discuss character and dress.

Friday, 8 PM: *L031, The Tribunal. I'm helping Eli Eaton. Tribunal was my first larp. It was ... lifechanging is not too strong a word. It's a game about the mechanisms of oppression, more important now than years ago.

Saturday 9AM: R300, Apocalypse World 2nd edition. I am tempted to bring the patreon-only playbooks, but I do not think I should be that guy. Nor should I play a battlebage (again). Instead, maybe something like the Waterbearer -- something calm and cool.

Saturday 2PM: *R334, Night Witches widecon with the always prepared Jason Morningstar. Protect mother russia from nazi scum, while avoiding the worst deprivations from your allies. This might secretely be a game about the patriarchy.

Saturday 8PM: L063, Pirate's Life by Jay Treat. This is how I make sure I get to play with Jay. I've played this before, and I'm looking forward to seeing the changes.

Sunday 10AM: L074, Project Athena: A superhero larp about feelings presented by Tara M. Clapper, who I don't know. Did I get the right Tara Clapper?


Gosh, you guys! That's a lot of games, and most of them larps.

Five larps, three tabletop, and two of them I'm cofacilitating. And yet, I'm doing next to no prep!

Monday, February 19, 2018

BTW: I loaded the dreamation schedule on my Pixel.

BTW: I loaded the dreamation schedule on my Pixel.

It had a button to make it mobile friendly. Clicked it.

No. Colors. Omg!!!!

Friday, February 16, 2018

After reading some thoughts from Mo Jave, and getting the equivalent of windshield time for a few months, some...

After reading some thoughts from Mo Jave, and getting the equivalent of windshield time for a few months, some thoughts on Scrum:

-- There's a lot of roleplaying I do at work. This gives some better rules.

-- I treat the tools as safety equipment: asking the devs what they can accept, asking the product owner to maintain a visible backlog, ensuring the business owners understand that development takes uninterupted time.

-- The DSM should be more useful, but our devs are far away from the PO and I. So, I ask the devs what they are working on and if they have blocks. Sometimes we go too deep on a particular problem, but I try to keep our PO from diving into it right then.

-- Sprint Planning sessions are as useful so long as you treat the commitments as commitments: the PO should not ask for changes.

-- It is a totally reasonable thing to have 1 dev a day (or so) who is "on call", and knows they may be interrupted by the PO when everything is on fire. This isn't part of scrum, but can be a decent release valve.

-- Estimation is great. Task boards are great. Visibility is great.

-- there's more I have to learn. Getting a CSM is like getting a driver's license -- you can drive, but not well.

One of the wells I go back to when work is troubling is the Solar Age of the Golden Clipper series.

One of the wells I go back to when work is troubling is the Solar Age of the Golden Clipper series.

This is a series about merchant marines IN SPACE. There's five pages about the proper way to brew coffee, ten pages on how to change air scrubbers and water filters, and a lot of concern over how to progress in ranks to make sure you're never out of work.

The first three books -- quarter share, half share, and full share -- present a trilogy where our young protagonist learns the ropes, advances through the crew ranks, and becomes a leader among the enlisted crew.

There is one act of violence in this trilogy. It takes place off screen, to the best buddy of the main character -- he's robbed. This is the impetus for constructive work done by our main character, the officers of the ship, and the crew as they pitch in to help him, and solve the underlying issue the behaviors of many crew members were engendering -- essentially trying to sell goods to shady individuals without backup.

The violence is not pictured onscreen, and the fallout for sure is. Both emotional and physical, as the crew comes to terms with what happened.

I want to see more of this in my fiction -- where constructive work to better a situation is done by our characters, and they can't solve problems by punching them. And wouldn't want to anyway.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

In case I haven't mentioned it, or there's any doubt:

In case I haven't mentioned it, or there's any doubt:
-- Fuck the NRA. Fuck your AR 15.

The NRA is a domestic terrorist organization. The AR 15 is a weapon of terror. Full stop, no discussion allowed.

Go tell your members of congress.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Q: William, you've been quiet for a while.

Q: William, you've been quiet for a while.
A: Yes. This isn't a question.

Q: ... will you tell us why?
A: Oh, sure! Work has exploded (in a mostly positive way), I'm organizing Camp Nerdly, and so, haven't had a lot of time to post to G+. I've been paying attention to you, though!

Q: What about all your projects?
A: Backburner. Front burner is keeping the work lights on.

Q; Do you still love us?
A: As much as I ever did. Tell me your stories!

Tell me what's up with you all!

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

What else do I need for Dreamation?

What else do I need for Dreamation?

Clothes bag, three days of clothes plus spares. Toiletries, I suppose.
Day bag, with standard stuff for games, assorted meds, space for apples and water bottle.
Food bag, with apples, food bars, and likely instant coffee.

What am I missing?

Monday, February 12, 2018

For the Monday crowd.

For the Monday crowd.

Originally shared by Camp Nerdly

Registration / Chores / Lodging!

Camp Nerdly --

campnerdly.org is up and operational, and accepting registrations.

What this means to you:
Until April 15 (or so), registration is open. I'll accept about 90 people online, and then apply a soft cap. This is negotiable as we get closer. You MUST fill out the survey you receive after you pay. You should also sign up for lodging and a chore.

Some Q&A:
Q: Is there a G+ community:
A: Yes! https://plus.google.com/communities/104054571808629903800

Q: Wait, what is this thing?
A: Camp Nerdly is a DYI camping and gaming weekend just south of Washington, DC Prince William Forest Park. Camp 2.

Q: When is this thing?
A: May 18 - May 20, 2018.

Q: How much is this thing?
A: $65 for adults, which includes food, lodging, and 48 hours of fantastic gaming. You will be responsible for a chore, and you should bring your own bedding. Mattresses will be provided. It is cheaper for kids. We encourage kids.

Q: That's more money than I feel comfortable paying! Is there any help?
A: YES! There's a scholarship fund. Email me privately and we'll talk about it.

Q: I want to contribute to the scholarship fund!
A: That's awesome! You can do so on the webpage.

Q: I want to help out Nerdly!
A: That's not really a question, but I love it. We still need some big chores, including Kids Track coordinator. If you want this job -- or any big job -- tell me!

Q: How can I help, longer term?
A: We're hoping to formalize a couple of positions, in particular record keeper and treasurer. If you are interested, please let me know.

Q: Are there tshirts?
A: I need a designer. Are you one? Please reach out.

Q: Where should I go if I have further questions?
A: First, to the web page! If it is not answered there, please ask. If you are asking, someone else probably is, too.

Q: Who should I tell about this thing?
A: EVERYONE

Q: Didn't you post this before?
A: About a week ago, to the G+ community, yes. This one is public. It was pointed out you have to already be in the community to see that.

Many thanks to Tim Rodriguez, Melissa S Cohen, and Candida Norwood for their help with the webpage.

http://campnerdly.org

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Watching the new Queer Eye. Covered in tears.

Watching the new Queer Eye. Covered in tears.

Thanks, Meguey Baker, for recommending it.

Camp Nerdly is great!

Camp Nerdly is great!

Originally shared by Camp Nerdly

Registration / Chores / Lodging!

Camp Nerdly --

campnerdly.org is up and operational, and accepting registrations.

What this means to you:
Until April 15 (or so), registration is open. I'll accept about 90 people online, and then apply a soft cap. This is negotiable as we get closer. You MUST fill out the survey you receive after you pay. You should also sign up for lodging and a chore.

Some Q&A:
Q: Is there a G+ community:
A: Yes! https://plus.google.com/communities/104054571808629903800

Q: Wait, what is this thing?
A: Camp Nerdly is a DYI camping and gaming weekend just south of Washington, DC Prince William Forest Park. Camp 2.

Q: When is this thing?
A: May 18 - May 20, 2018.

Q: How much is this thing?
A: $65 for adults, which includes food, lodging, and 48 hours of fantastic gaming. You will be responsible for a chore, and you should bring your own bedding. Mattresses will be provided. It is cheaper for kids. We encourage kids.

Q: That's more money than I feel comfortable paying! Is there any help?
A: YES! There's a scholarship fund. Email me privately and we'll talk about it.

Q: I want to contribute to the scholarship fund!
A: That's awesome! You can do so on the webpage.

Q: I want to help out Nerdly!
A: That's not really a question, but I love it. We still need some big chores, including Kids Track coordinator. If you want this job -- or any big job -- tell me!

Q: How can I help, longer term?
A: We're hoping to formalize a couple of positions, in particular record keeper and treasurer. If you are interested, please let me know.

Q: Are there tshirts?
A: I need a designer. Are you one? Please reach out.

Q: Where should I go if I have further questions?
A: First, to the web page! If it is not answered there, please ask. If you are asking, someone else probably is, too.

Q: Who should I tell about this thing?
A: EVERYONE

Q: Didn't you post this before?
A: About a week ago, to the G+ community, yes. This one is public. It was pointed out you have to already be in the community to see that.

Many thanks to Tim Rodriguez, Melissa S Cohen, and Candida Norwood for their help with the webpage.

http://campnerdly.org

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

A possibility:

A possibility:
1. In the Big Blue Wave, democrats take the house and the senate. This is possible.
2. These august parties impeach Cadet Bone Spurs, and his cronies.
3. Nancy becomes President, for about a year.

That first step requires something from you: VOTE.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Just applied to work for the DNC.

Just applied to work for the DNC.

I doubt I'll hear back, but if I do ...

big blue wave.

My dearest internet

My dearest internet,

That's how you know I'm going to ask for a favor.

Will this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0762PC35H/ref=psdc_13896609011_t1_B0762PP977

Run this: https://www.systemrequirementslab.com/cyri/requirements/oxygen-not-included/13748

I believe the answer is "Yes, probably". This is where you can tell me if I am wrong.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0762PC35H/ref=psdc_13896609011_t1_B0762PP977

Friday, February 2, 2018

Who wants to play games with me at Dreamation?