Its cold and dark and i hate everything.
Cold: I cannot run outside. Just being outside is painful.
Dark: The sunlight is weak even at noon, and 7 am is before daybreak.
Hate everything: Every email, every project makes me want to scream bloody murder. Or cry.
I know this is SAD. But, i can't care about that because SAD. I know it'll be better in a month, but I cannot comprehend it being better because SAD. I've managed to get through this every year. I know I will again this year.
But Christ.
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You have my complete and utter sympathy. SAD is terrible.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. I used to get crippled by SAD. My doctor put me on a tremendous ongoing dose of vitamin D, and now I only get a little blue, not stay in bed for weeks depressed. Worth looking into, if you have a doc.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't help with the being housebound, unfortunately... but it has given me the motivation to consider some outdoor activities in the winter.
Yeah, D and lightbox for me. It helps, it really does.
ReplyDeleteI've had a light alarm for years. I always hated waking up in the dark. Fuck that with a pitchfork.
ReplyDeleteWhen I wake up, I fantasize about running. Then I walk to the main room, and there's no light coming in from the patio door. None, on the tenth floor. Then I whimper a little, and do so again when I realize how fracking cold it is.
Also—acknowledgment and lowering your expectations of your output/productivity for winter months. The worst part of my SAD has been the self-flaggelation over not being my manic summer self. This year I refrained from taking any freelance deadlines Nov-Jan and am not tracking words written, and I am so much happier. I'm lucky that I can do that, of course, but even just acknowledging that SAD is real and will affect your productivity may help.
ReplyDeleteSympathies. For the winter months, I get a gym membership. I don't like it, but it gets me to a well-lit place that has something I can run on.
ReplyDeleteWeirdly, I get summer-SAD. (I think; I haven't been diagnosed, so I may just be being flippant.)
ReplyDeleteDid a 5k on the treadmill in the apartment gym. It was slow (39+ minutes), but at least I ran ridiculously fast during Guns and Ships.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling better, but it may be temporary. But, in the end, what isn't?
Robert Bohl My wife has the same. We make a great pair! ;)
ReplyDeleteSeconding the light box
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you are actively seeking advice, or just laying out the suckiness of SAD. I have gone on a 'depression diet' when I was at my worst, and found that it helped me. If you are interested, I will make a post about it.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this thing, Derrick Sanders ?
ReplyDelete