I only need two people. A pilot and someone to sell the stolen ship to.
Unfortunately the hacker who found the ship and who also got us into the berth, and yes, she turned the navy systems on too, anyway, she's still here holding on for a share.
And there's Concrete Stan, who I hired to keep the rest in line. He wants a share too.
I guess I should probably mention the engineer we sort of kidnapped after we realised that the core stabilisation is shot. If we don't kill him soon he's going to want another share too
But that's it, Oh My God, the cargo hold is full of starving human slaves...
You know what they say -- young mercs pack extra ammo, old mercs pack extra chocolate-flavored protein rations. The 'one last easy job' is always h one that screws the pooch.
So...human cargo, unclear if they're still on the books (are these the kind of prisoners Johnny Law wants to keep track of, or the ones they want to conveniently lose?) -- anybody famous in the hold?
Are you kidding? POWs all have military grade ident implants. They're a cinch to track. Can our hacker obscure those? Or do we drop them at their expected port, pretending to be the regular crew before selling this hot tub?
Computer hacker. Spaceships are gonna be lojack-ed out the wazoo. And the first thing you're gonna need is someone to shut down all the computers so it can be piloted by hand, lest the original owners just take control of it and fly it right back home.
TWIST! Concrete Stan is actually an Idarian Droid Hackbomb and as soon as we reach the Navy yard he uploads himself into the Dock and then rewrites the fleet of Megawarships into Idar spacebrains.
Folks, folks... the POWs are not on the run. The Idarians and the Gol have negotiated a Resolution Manifold (what lesser races would refer to as an armistice) and so all of the client species they took on to become cannon-fodder are cut loose.
On the bad side, that's an existential level of abandonment. These folks have implants too sophisticated to possibly maintain, built for a war that's no longer happening. You'd think those would be super-useful, but it turns out your iPhone doesn't do a very good job of picking mechanical locks; the enemy systems these were built to defeat are no longer fielded, and the memetic urges implanted with them are for an army-matrix that is now missing several layers of dimensionality.
On the good side, any time you do encounter the Idarians or Gol, their wise-elder schtick is somewhat hampered by intense species-guilt mortification. Not that they'd ever admit it.
I just wanted to sell the ship... Now I'm flying a ship leading a fleet of sentient warship babies and guilt tripping alien species a quantum leap ahead of us.
Sensors could probably be set to make loud noises when anything moves too close.
ReplyDeleteYes, but what about if we're all off the ship?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm pretty sure that's what the fools we stole the ship from thought.
Well, the short list -- some roles may be held my multiple people --
ReplyDeleteSomeone to pilot and dock
Someone to navigate FTL
Someone to repair things that break
Someone to cook
Someone to track supplies
Someone to keep the peace
Someone to handle communications and make nice with docking stations.
Someone who knows how to make a profit off a stolen spaceship (a chop shop or a smuggling ring or whatever)
Someone who knows the computer systems enough to let us disguise our ship and disable any trackers.
Somebody to do bad things to the folks we stole this from if thy catch up to us.
I only need two people. A pilot and someone to sell the stolen ship to.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately the hacker who found the ship and who also got us into the berth, and yes, she turned the navy systems on too, anyway, she's still here holding on for a share.
And there's Concrete Stan, who I hired to keep the rest in line. He wants a share too.
I guess I should probably mention the engineer we sort of kidnapped after we realised that the core stabilisation is shot. If we don't kill him soon he's going to want another share too
But that's it, Oh My God, the cargo hold is full of starving human slaves...
Brian Ashford
ReplyDeleteStarving, eh? Bet you wish now you,d brought someone who can cook!
Jesse Cox /facepalm
ReplyDeleteThis was going to be one last easy job.
Brian Ashford I gotta x-card the slaves. Prisoners I can accept.
ReplyDeleteYou know what they say -- young mercs pack extra ammo, old mercs pack extra chocolate-flavored protein rations. The 'one last easy job' is always h one that screws the pooch.
ReplyDeleteSo...human cargo, unclear if they're still on the books (are these the kind of prisoners Johnny Law wants to keep track of, or the ones they want to conveniently lose?) -- anybody famous in the hold?
Prisoners you say? So do you think someone will be willing to pay for their return?
ReplyDeletePrisoners of war, holdover from the Idarian wars just past, when this sector of space was fought over by greater species than ourselves.
ReplyDeleteSo they've already been rescued back into human space and we stole them just before they got home?
ReplyDeleteThis is such a hassle.
Let's just drop them off somewhere.
Are you kidding? POWs all have military grade ident implants. They're a cinch to track. Can our hacker obscure those? Or do we drop them at their expected port, pretending to be the regular crew before selling this hot tub?
ReplyDeleteComputer hacker. Spaceships are gonna be lojack-ed out the wazoo. And the first thing you're gonna need is someone to shut down all the computers so it can be piloted by hand, lest the original owners just take control of it and fly it right back home.
ReplyDeleteJesse Cox Genius! When they notice it's missing that'll be the last place they look for it too.
ReplyDeleteLet's just hope a new war doesn't start between now and then.
(Why does this feel like a game of Fiasco? Let me count the ways...)
ReplyDeleteTWIST! Concrete Stan is actually an Idarian Droid Hackbomb and as soon as we reach the Navy yard he uploads himself into the Dock and then rewrites the fleet of Megawarships into Idar spacebrains.
ReplyDeleteI knew we shouldn't have hired Concrete Stan in the first place. that guy has awful table manners.
ReplyDelete...ok. Is anyone other than me already prepping for when we arm the POWs and give them the ship to provide cover for us to get the * out of here?
ReplyDeleteTat's a great way to no longer have a space ship, Jesse!
ReplyDeleteFolks, folks... the POWs are not on the run. The Idarians and the Gol have negotiated a Resolution Manifold (what lesser races would refer to as an armistice) and so all of the client species they took on to become cannon-fodder are cut loose.
ReplyDeleteOn the bad side, that's an existential level of abandonment. These folks have implants too sophisticated to possibly maintain, built for a war that's no longer happening. You'd think those would be super-useful, but it turns out your iPhone doesn't do a very good job of picking mechanical locks; the enemy systems these were built to defeat are no longer fielded, and the memetic urges implanted with them are for an army-matrix that is now missing several layers of dimensionality.
On the good side, any time you do encounter the Idarians or Gol, their wise-elder schtick is somewhat hampered by intense species-guilt mortification. Not that they'd ever admit it.
I just wanted to sell the ship... Now I'm flying a ship leading a fleet of sentient warship babies and guilt tripping alien species a quantum leap ahead of us.
ReplyDeleteHave another chocolate-flavored protein ration.
ReplyDeleteIt won't fix any of the craziness, but you'll feel better.
Here's hoping one of the POWs can cook, and we can let 'em all join the crew. They'll be better able to manage a ship than this lot, that's for sure.
ReplyDelete