This post is mostly for the men.

This post is mostly for the men. If you're unsure if that applies to you, use your own judgement -- I ain't the gender police.

These are some dos and don't. I am up for answering questions on these. I'll moderate if necessary.

Some things that might just happen to you -- yes, you!
1. You witness sexual harassment.
DONT: Ignore it.

Instead, Say: “We don’t do that here.” or “Not cool, dude.”

This does a couple of things:
-- Jerks know not to do it in front of you, and that you are not with them!
-- Victims know that you are on their side. And have their back. DOUBLE WIN.

Do not expect a cookie for this. It is literally the least thing you can do in the situation. You witnessed a human being being victimized and opened your mouth from a position where you cannot be harmed.

Want a cookie? don't ask the victim. Ask me. I will send you a cookie.

2. You screwed up.
Do NOT SAY: I am sorry you were offended.

This is bullshit. Do not ever do it. I cannot stress this enough. Do not do that thing.

Instead, say: I am sorry I did . I fucked up. I have learned , and will strive not to fuck up this way again. I have done to try to rectify it. Thank you for telling me that I fucked up. I appreciate your candor.

Oh, and? Do not expect whoever you fucked over to accept your apology or be your friend. Turns out, they probably don't need your friendship, especially if it is contingent on doing emotional labor for you.

If you want to brag about doing this? Tell me. I'll even give you a cookie.

3. Something bad happened to someone, and they told you about it.
DO NOT: Get angry on their behalf.

DO: Believe them! Then, ask what you can do. See, instead of, for example, beating someone up? Ask the person harmed what you can do.

Try this: Wow, that makes me really angry, but I’m going to try to keep my cool, and not do anything that makes you uncomfortable. How can I help?

If you want to brag about doing this? Tell me. I'll even give you a cookie.

4. You think are are being hit on, and are not interested!
Step 1: Be flattered!
DO NOT SAY: You are sooo pretty. If I were unmarried/30 years younger/not your boss/etc.

OMG, don't ever say that last one. I puked a little in my mouth writing it.

Instead, drop into conversation: "My wife ... ", or "My monogamous partner", or even, "I don't enjoy intimacy/sex/boning", depending on the situation.

If that doesn't work: scratch your nose with your wedding ring.
If that doesn't work, SAY THIS: I am monogamous and married. I'm flattered. Thank you. No.

Don't wear a wedding ring, and this happens a lot? Do what waitresses have done for decades to avoid you: wear a ring. I don't care if you are married or not, you have my permission to wear a wedding ring to make it more obvious that you are not available.

They statements will almost always be taken as a polite statement of "I am not interested in pursuing sex"

Also, guess what? This might happen 3 times in your life. It'll happen to every women you know three times every day. You get no cookies for this.

5. And that's bring us to: You like someone and want to see them naked/have sex!
Neat! That's a fun feeling!

Have they mentioned a partner? Are they wearing a wedding ring? Did they scratch their nose with their wedding ring? Are you in a position of power over them? Have they said they are not interested in sex?

If yes, DO NOT TRY TO FUCK THEM.

Yes, sometimes wedding rings do not indicate a monogamous lifestyle. But, a wedding ring probably indicates not wanting to be hit on -- and that is sufficient.

If you want a cookie for not hitting on someone who is clearly uninterested? I am not offering those.

6. You think you are being hit on, and want to see the other person naked/have sex with them. You're not sure if you are being hit on, though. You are not in a position of power over them, and they are not forced to be around you.

DONT: Grab them. Holy fuck don't ever do that.

Instead, try your words, maybe: "I think you are pretty great. I think you feel the same way. Wanna make out, or have I read this wrong?"

And guess what? If the answer is anything other than a resounding 'HELL YES", then the answer is "No!!!!" and you should give the person some space. Like, book the fuck out. Go to another room. Leave the party. Assume they do not want to talk to you.

If you voluntarily leave a party after asking someone to be romantic with you, and tell me? I will give you a cookie.

Some of this borrowed from Mickey Schulz:
https://geekgirlsrule.net/2017/10/24/geek-girls-rule-314-again-really/

Other parts from my brain.
https://geekgirlsrule.net/2017/10/24/geek-girls-rule-314-again-really/